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One Piece Legacy: The Battle of Water 7 part 9
"DANG IT!" Ness and Malk walk out of a club, with Ness staring at his slips of papers. The papers were for if you want me, that people in parties would hand out to each other with a signature. "3 pieces of paper. One was from an ugly chick, one was from a guy, and one was from a woman who felt bad for me!" Malk looked at his 78 slips of paper, and felt mercy for Ness. "Do you want to borrow 4 or 5 of my girl portion? I have like, 57 slips for women." "No, I need to do this alone!" "So, you do have man's pride." "Of course! How can a man be a man if he can't get at least one pretty woman to want him!" "Okay, Ness... Do you want my honest opinion?" "Yeah." "Okay. On attraction, you are a 7, on a scale of 1 to 10. So it's not your body that needs fixing. It's your personality." "What's wrong with my personality?" "Well..." -30 minutes ago- Ness slides between two women talking. "Let's make this a Ness sandwich. 2 lovely ladies, and one Ness. - Ness buys a drink for a women, and hands it to her, she takes a sip, and he notices a drop of water on her lip, and smoothly uses his thumb to take it off. She's clearly impressed, and Ness speaks. "So, how about we go to your place and have fun. By the way, by have fun, I mean having lots of sex." - Ness hears a woman scream, and notices a guy is harassing two women. Ness drop kicks the man, and looks to the woman. "YOU IDIOT! YOU ATTACKED MY BOYFRIEND! THE HARASSING PARTY IS THIS WOMAN!" -Present- Ness thinks over his options. "Well the last one..." "You didn't notice the 2nd women inserting her tongue in that others woman's face?" "Good point. How did I not notice that?!" "Look, here's how I went through it." -30 minutes ago- Malk makes out with two women. - Malk is making out with a woman, then they stop, take a sip of beer, and then proceed to make out again. - Malk makes out with another women, then stops. He goes to her boyfriend, and makes out with her boyfriend. -Present- "I love open Bisexual couples. They pick some stuff up, and they clearly have a lot of love for each other. "HOW ARE YOU SO POPULAR?!" "Easy. I'm a 9, I respect women, and I gave off a vibe." "A vibe?" "You give off a vibe that says 'Bang me, I'm desperate.' Mine was 'I don't care who I go with tonight, just someone I like'." "Wow, HOW DID YOU GET SO MUCH?" "Okay, let me show you." Malk and Ness walk to an alleyway, and Malk whispers something to Ness's ear. Ness is blushing, and hides his face from Malk. "Pervert. Awful man. Mother was right, men are pigs." "Oh shut it Ness. I was joking. Saying that would get you killed." "Really? Because... I might have said that..." "... Ness, did a woman ever raise you?" "No." "Ahh, makes sense." "What about Tack?!" "Tack had good parents. You... Not so much." "Well, I was an orphan. I actually only met a woman when I was... 15." "15 YEARS?!" "I only heard stories about them. They have big boobs, amazing bodies, and they really like it if you are assertive, like a savage man." "A feminist just died." Malk rubs his eyes, and tries to think of an idea for Ness. "Okay, let's try this strategy!" - They are back at the club, and the bouncer notices Malk and Ness. "Malk! Some of the ladies missed ya, and so did Tony. Ness, I've been ordered to not let you in." "WHAT THE HELL MAN?!" "Sorry Ness. Got way too many complaints about ya. I think trying to make out with one of the female bartenders was the final straw for the establishment." "DAMN! SO CLOSE, AND YET SO FAR! NOW HOW WILL I SHOW MY MOVES?!" "QUICK NESS, TO ANOTHER CLUB!" - "Well ladies, I love YA, but their is only one Ness." Ness is surrounded by large and burly women. One, bigger then the others, picks up Ness and walks away. She kicks down the door, and slaps Ness's ass. "I GOT ME A BOYFRIEND!" Ness has tears, and screams to Malk. "MALK!" Malk is being carried like a bride from another woman. "Ness, I have bigger troubles. I think I'm engaged." - Vance stuffs another potato in his mouth. "25!" "PEOPLE ARE HERE!" 3 large men and a young boy jump into the room. "POTATO EATING FORCE 4!" Vance throws a potato at each of them. "Hurry, for your lives depend on it!" They all take a bite, and eat. - Malk, and Ness walk out of an alleyway bruised and their clothes ripped up, with Malk holding his black eye, but Ness is smiling like an idiot despite having bruises all over his body. "Man, Malk, you should have met Anna. Lovely lady. Did you know she was the first female Shipwright in her whole shipyard. She even has a few Water 7 armwrestling awards on her shelf." "Ness, I'm sure Susie would have loved to known you. Did you know she raises hell dogs. One's name was Pooky, weighed 220 pounds, had 500 teeth, each sharper then a knife, and had the prettiest pink bow." "Heh, Anna had a Siberian cat." "Yeah... Nice girls..." "Rough girls... Real rough girls..." "Yep Ness... What did you Say to Anna?" "I said her dragon tattoo made her blue eyes look like an ocean of pure beauty." "Cheesy, but Anna seemed like a cheesy gal." "We watched a romantic comedy." "Cute. I met Susie's parents. Her mom was 460 pounds of pure muscle, and was 15 feet tall. Her dad was 5'2 and weighed 115. She said she follwed her dad more." "Well, one good thing happened..." "What?" "I beat Cap... At one of the most important functions of life..." "No... Sex isn't important Ness... Meeting the right person is the important thing. Besides, you didn't beat cap...You were beat..." "Oh yeah... I forgot." They fall down on the ground, unconscious. - Anna calls Susie, and is estastic. "I just met the cutest guy ever!" "So did I!" "So cute, he reminds me of my dad!" "Malk was so charming. When we did the deed, he looked so pained to leave." "So did Ness!" "We're the luckiest girls in Water 7, to meet such nice guys." "Yeah." Category:Nobody700 Category:Stories Category:Chapters Category:The Battle of Water 7 Arc